Thursday, March 7, 2013

Closure


It is the most difficult thing to seek closure on things. You hope against hopes that this is not it. You deceive yourself that things will turn for the better. And you hold on so tight that you only hurt yourself in the bargain.

When the final times come closer, it starts to hit you hard. The single most important thing starts to fade away in the bewilderment of how you missed out on so many things about yourself. How you gave up. How you compromised. How you sacrificed.

You want some time to let it digest into you. You need sometime to deal with everything and everyone who has bailed out on you. You want to lash out at everyone who comes in your way. But all you care is to put your head in your pillow and cry away.

And then after a few days you realize that it hurts a little less. You feel good about it, and yet the closure you seek makes you uncomfortable, makes you restless. You let time do it's magic, start the healing process. You give time some time to show it's prowess.

In the hope for the pain to vanish, you wait. You want to believe that the closure was a  part of a bigger plan, your fate. But deep down you know that all of it is just jazz. So you feel the hurt, and you feel it again, so you know for sure that it has passed.