Tuesday, May 28, 2013

ZERO

We all are a big fat zero. The wiser you become, the better you know.

When you begin doing something, and you're good at it, you feel the adrenaline pumping. You want to conquer it all.

But as you excel as it. Become better every moment that you do it, you just realize how much more you still got to know.

You feel like a minuscule particle in this ocean. And your thirst of knowledge just cannot seem to end.

So what you know becomes immaterial, but what you don't intrigues you. Gives you sleepless nights. Makes you restless.

Some one has rightly said. Education is not what you learn. It is what you can unlearn and relearn. This acceptance that we know nothing, and someone else can add to our knowledge makes us what we are.

So it's good to be a zero. Since its from here that you'll grow.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Dear God IV

Dear God,
I celebrated my Silver Jubilee Birthday today! It's great to be 25 you know. Things have changed a bit though. Birthdays come with lot of surprises, not necessarily pertaining to my birthday presents. They come along with the striking knowledge that each passing year brings along new responsibilities I need to face.

So while it all began with a bang, with cakes, and champagnes... the change was too bold to ignore. Things are different now. People are a bit different too. The gifts have become more practical, and lesser fun. And yet, surprisingly I am loving them as much.

As I enter into a new stage of life altogether, some of the things I held close all these years seem a bit distant. In another year or two, I won't probably be celebrating in this house. The feeling has finally hit me, and God, it has hit me hard.

But that will be another years story to tell. This year brought along a new zeal. I want to make the most this year. Personally and professionally as well. I don't want to have careless fun. I want to take onus for what I do, and how I do it. I want to make sure every moment counts, and makes a difference.

So here is a big Thank You for this wonderful feeling of being 25. Thank you for the super friends and family I have.

Thank You Dear God,
I know you'll always love me.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Closure


It is the most difficult thing to seek closure on things. You hope against hopes that this is not it. You deceive yourself that things will turn for the better. And you hold on so tight that you only hurt yourself in the bargain.

When the final times come closer, it starts to hit you hard. The single most important thing starts to fade away in the bewilderment of how you missed out on so many things about yourself. How you gave up. How you compromised. How you sacrificed.

You want some time to let it digest into you. You need sometime to deal with everything and everyone who has bailed out on you. You want to lash out at everyone who comes in your way. But all you care is to put your head in your pillow and cry away.

And then after a few days you realize that it hurts a little less. You feel good about it, and yet the closure you seek makes you uncomfortable, makes you restless. You let time do it's magic, start the healing process. You give time some time to show it's prowess.

In the hope for the pain to vanish, you wait. You want to believe that the closure was a  part of a bigger plan, your fate. But deep down you know that all of it is just jazz. So you feel the hurt, and you feel it again, so you know for sure that it has passed.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Normal

Sometimes I wonder what's Normalcy,
Is it really something that we can see?
Who really gets to decide for me?
What my take on life ought to be!

If we don't agree with what people do,
Are we supposed to follow that too?
Why is there so much of ado?
Just cuz' I don't wish to be like you!

So do hell you guys, I don't care,
It's not you, but us who dare,
You follow the herd, so beware,
Cuz that keeps you away from life's glare!

Normal is just an illusion then,
For some to pose and pretend,
For other to preach and be content,
About being stagnant till world's end.


Sunday, February 3, 2013

Alone at a Coffee Shop

As you sit alone in a coffee shop, your thoughts tend to wander around. You gaze through the tables. Two teen girlfriends giggling at something. Three young professionals brain storming over a client and a deal. An old lady, with an even older woman (her mother) trying to decide what to order. A young couple meeting for the first time as a prospective alliance (arranged marriage).

You sit alone with your laptop. Trying to work on something. As hard as you try to focus on your work, the fact that you are the only one alone over there disappoints you. You try to convince yourself that it's okay. You think of reasons to reassure yourself that it is, infact, better that you are alone. So you glance around again.

The teen girlfriends are looking at some pictures on one of their big fat touch screen phone. Jazzy stuff indeed. You think of being their age, not too long ago... Like 6 or may be 7 years back. Stuff that you had and things that you enjoyed. You realize lots have changed since then. You realize you have transformed since then.

You glance over at the young professionals working. Ohkay so now that's something you can relate to. But more than half of the things they say, you don't understand. They don't belong to your field of work. Not even close. You realize that there are so many things you are unaware of. There's a long way to go before you stop learning.

The mother-daughter duo is your next table. This one touches your heart. You are intrigued by the interaction of the mum and daughter and their ways of deciding on what to buy in a coffee shop, a place that is beyond their years. You miss your mum and think of calling her. Then you drop the thought because you don't want to explain to her why you are at a coffee shop all alone. You realize that no matter how old you are, your parents will always be Aai and Baba, questioning you, worrying for you, guiding you, and loving you.

The final table, the couple trying to get to know each other. Arranged marriages in a coffee shop. That's the new 'In' thing. As you watch them, carefully, making sure you don't stare to freak them out... you can make out the nuances of their conversation. The body language. The slight blushing, and the slight effort to impress. The- taking a stand, and the- making sure you don't over do it. It all looks too cute for you. It's an untouched territory for you. You wonder if such things are ever meant for you. You realize - may be not. You realize, -or just may be.

And viola, its been a couple of hours already. So as your laptop battery drains out doing absolutely nothing, you switch it off, pay you cheque, and make it to the door. You turn back one last time. You take a good look at all the tables. You realize everything that you just realized. You smile. You walk off!