Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Guess Work

While it was happening, it pierced like a needle drilling into me million times in a god damn minute.

As it neared its end, the pain became personified, though all looked great and I was happy it was over.

Days passed, but the burns were still felt. I think the healing had begun. The most painful part of all.

It pricked, burned, pained, hurt. I could not even sleep and kept thinking about it. I kept switching sides missing my sweet slumber.

Another couple of days, and the wound seems to be healing. As the pain still accompanies, there are scabs reminding me of what transpired...

No medicine made it better. Just a long haul for the healing to complete. Healing is painful. One of life's inevitable truth and a deeply engraved lesson.

It is slow and makes you go through your traumas and memories of the same every single moment.

I guess then that is how it actually heals...when there comes a time when the same memories do not hurt...do not bother...do not even make a difference.

And as the effervescence of the wound and its feeling begins to flatten and stale away, you see the rough scabs giving way to pale skin. It still piques, but you know it is about time.

Finally, then one day dawns when the white pale skin has converted into something that just perfectly matches to what your normal skin looks like. There is no sign of pain or irritation...

Just a wonderful imprint of what happened.

You love to keep looking at it, to remind yourself of all the efforts you took to have it, of everything else that has brought you to it.

Everything in life is processed in the same way, at time you look at the wonderful remains with a glint of happiness in your eyes, while other imprints are there to remind you of what not to do to go through the same painful sojourn.

They act as your warnings...to stay away from things, events, and even people at times.

I just experienced one such process. Now it is up to you to guess which one I am referring to!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dear God- II

Dear God,
Our last conversation was read my many, and all could relate to it... So much so that it infact has led me to give birth to one of the most substantial and inseparable part of my life, my blog.

Since my previous successful attempt of trying to reach you through something that I enjoy---writing, a lot has transformed and reformed in my life and around me as well. Things have changed for the better, and in many ways even I have.

Having said that I would not dare deny my sporadic withdrawals to my older ways. I keep getting back at those sometimes. But not as much to detest it bitterly. Not yet. I am trying to negate my U turns forever though. I am sure it will happen. Soon!

Dear God, Life is beautiful. I realize the more I believe in it, the more it becomes a reality for me. It sometimes becomes very importunating, while at others it remains undemanding. But whatever transpires it stays beauteous.

Another thing worth mentioning is our frequent tête-à-tête off late. It is often in the form of a very normal conversation, and even confrontations with my loved ones. Thank you for making me feel so special. Thank you for making me realize that I am important.

Dear God, I once again want to show my gratitude to you for being with me always. Guiding me, loving me, 
irritating me, and just watching over me. The more I acknowledge your presence around me, the closer I get to you, the more connected I feel to you.

P
eople ask me often if I am a believer. I am boggled while answering. My perception of you, dear god, has changed a bit. I believe that you exist. I believe that you live. I see you. You are everywhere around me.

On my 23rd birthday you made sure you did everything to make it special! You began the celebration right since 16th April. Thanks for the extended birthday over the weekend. What a surprise that was!


Then on 17th you took me out for dinner. I had a very good time I must say. And while you had dinner with me, you also at the very same time were preparing for a surprise for me. For that I must say you lied several times to me over the phone!


At the stroke of midnight you gave me my biggest surprise, thank you again. Then the several calls, texts, and facebook wishes...Thank you for all your blessings. You also came home with some cake, gifts, and chocolates. And gifted me cash as well!!! Also all the cuddling, and petting...Life is incomplete without it and without every single thing you have done for me in various forms, shapes and sizes over the past 23 years.


So I guess that is my answer for those who ask me if I believe in you. It is sad that they have not yet shared any experiences with you, or any other form of you. I hope you enlighten them soon!


Dear god, it was a wonderful year. This year has begun in an even better fashion. Everything looks just bright enough for me to advent into brand new ventures, and relationships... yet another medium to connect to you.


Finally I hope to see you more often as you can clearly see I cannot get enough of you, even when at times I feel like either killing you or myself... However I can resist that temptation for sure... I know, and so do you ;)


Dear God, Thank You

I am Glad you still Love me!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

You Make Me Love Myself!

I was so keenly waiting to meet my friends, one of whom I would be meeting after two years. But as the evening approached, there was confusion as to what is happening.

So I almost gave up on the whole meeting idea, succumbed to my couch in front of the idiot box. And just when I was becoming comfortable with the idea of lazing around, tring tring my cell buzzed. They are already together waiting for me.

It took me a while and a whole lotta motivation to convince myself out of my sweet lethargy. But my yen to see them actuated my to get into the first set of clothes that I saw and leave.

The restaurant was one I have not been to in decades. So it was a weird feeling. But seeing those lovely familiar faces did the trick. It brought me extreme 'joie de vivre' to see her--- Manu! And then began the scintillating venture of what remained less known for the past couple of years.

So we were five of us, later joined by another of a dear one with a cake. I assumed it is to celebrate the return of an old friend. As the burble and gabble continued, the cake was put in front of my face to my oblivion of the wishes scribbled over it.

It read "Happy Birthday Aashi" and that indeed was for me!!! The feeling was remarkably enigmatic, to say the least. And there were presents too... I felt like the most special person there, all thanks to my dear friends.

After many more minutes of laughs, giggles, finger licking to finish the last morsel of the heavenly cake, and corny, pun intended stupid double meaning statements, the cheque was paid, and the finale saw us enjoying pan and laughing as we put 'the entire big thing in our mouths' (courtesy Rohit Narke).

The awesomeness about having such friends is that it makes birthdays, and every other special occasion worth celebrating and really special. This one will remain with me forever, just like these cartoons who made it so very special for me.

On a final note though I feel pretty dazed for not having treated them. But I assure you it is due soon...very soon! My keen wait finally ended with an exorbitantly special evening, and an even better feeling!!! So much and that too two days before the actual day!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Judge'mental'???

Life gives you so many different experiences that there comes a point where it becomes difficult to judge anything, or even to reach a conclusion. There comes a day in everyones life where everything that you believed in formerly seems to be an illusion.

We as humans, and as individuals have been blessed with powers that no other species enjoy. We have the power to emote and perceive. And we have an expertise in the same. People love to perceive and then emote, at times even un-called for perceptions and emotions are served on the plate, which again makes the other who is served with it to do the same. It is a vicious circle, the cycle of life. But the point that I am referring to is the one that might break this very vicious cycle, giving birth to may be a new one.

I had a training session recently where I trained professionals more than double my age. The very thought of it made me proud, I will not lie, to be training people who have gathered so much experience. But at the end of the four hours I only realized what I need to be trained on! More than what they must have gained, I am sure I did. The zeal with which they attended and participated in the session was unsettling of sorts. It gave me hibby gibbies. It made me realize that I should be more humbled that proud to be training these stalwarts...and I call them so because they were there without any inhibitions! They were there to learn, grasp and grow.

At a stage in life where there are only new beginnings for me, this is a lesson that stays forever. It is never too late for anything, and in your hands is everything. Excuses will always be irresistible but the real sense of achievement comes when you actually overpower this very temptation. Whatever I want, I know will come my way when I make sure I strive for it. People say hard work will get me to places, but more than that knowing what you want and how to get it is more important. Hard work sure is not negligible, but it also isn't the whole and sole...People have worked hard to get where they want, but when they do they realize that there is no one to be with them...They realize that there is no feeling of achievement to it at all.

I do not want to be like anyone. But I want to be someone people will look up to. I am working on that. I know I do not need to slog for it. I will work just enough to attain my yin yang. I will work enough to be what I ought to! Life sure does gives us so many different experiences that there comes a point where it becomes difficult to judge anything, or even to reach a conclusion. Everything I have thought and perceived looks like an illusion, but what has begun now is a fresh start to something that is going to be one of the most enriching and memorable journeys!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Champions of the World

Indians all over the world had their eyes glued to their idiot box on 2nd of April 2011. It was a day when history was created by the Men in Blue.

Six weeks of hard work, pain, struggle, pressure paid off as the Indian Captain M. S. Dhoni ended it all with his legendary Helicopter Shot.

Praises from all over the world, every Indian proud to be one. The team deserves every bit of it. Tendulkar deserves every bit of it.

But what if it was not for the team to bring the cup home? Would anyone have even considered the blood and sweat gone into the 6 weeks to reach the finals and put up such a great show?

Dhoni is being adulated for his captaincy, for his conviction, and his leadership. For his will of taking responsibility and chances. For coming before Yuvi in the batting order.

If, and I might sound like a cynic...but if it was not for such a fairy tale ending, most people screaming praises for Dhoni and his team would be abusing them for their same measures. None can deny this fact.

I am glad that after the Australian victory, Dhoni commented on how stones were pelted on his Ranchi residence after they lost the 2003 Cup, and how he is overwhelmed by the appreciation by the same population.

This population deserves to be reminded that our Men in Blue are humans after all! Its great that they won, but even if they hadn't, they sure still very much commanded all the respect. We owed it to them.

There is lot to learn from the Indian Captain. Leadership being the first on the list. Ownership of mistakes, and sharing of the credits. Being honest to the entire nation, to the team, and most importantly to oneself.

There were no blame games for mistakes and no lime light hogging for victories. The cup was supposed to be won in the name of the Master Blaster---and so it was won for him.

Everyone stuck to their words and emotions. The captain was seen no where claiming his authority. It was as if he owed it to Sachin, his team and his nation.

And once the task was accomplished, he was at peace. The adrenaline was pumping and the rejoice was all over his face, and yet it was over powered by peace and serenity.

That is what makes for a perfect leader. Management has just found a brand new personification for the term Leadership. I hope it is put to proper use.

On a final note, I would just hope that once Dhoni retires from Cricket, he joins the Indian Politics. We sure need someone like him to make us feel proud of being an Indian.

Leaders like him always create history, it is only sad that we do not have many in spheres other than sports!