Thursday, December 29, 2011

One Day...

One Day I wanna scream,
And no one else would hear.
Walk alone in the dark at night,
Without even a glimpse of fear.
One day I wanna weep,
And still not spill tears,
One day I wanna age,
Without counting it in years.

One Day I will LOL,
And not have to curb.
One day I will get what I want,
Not only that what I deserve.
One day I will break loose,
And still not be perturbed.
One day, this day will arrive,
Not, but, for me to be swerved.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Inspired

Bored me, blased me,
Tired of being tired...
Oh, it is such a grave task
To be and to remain inspired!

Shake me, Wake me!
Get me a lil' wired...
Oh please, please help me...
To be and to remain inspired!

Love me, please me,
Undo what was conspired,
Oh, show me Universe how...
To be and to remain inspired!

Wile me, tease me,
Remind me what transpired...
Oh, get back all the banter,
To be and to remain inspired!

Comfort me, ease me,
Bring me all that's desired...
Oh, that is what I need
To be and to remain inspired!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Potter, Pan, You, and Me!

It was a lazy afternoon, so I just decided to spend a while watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Well yes, I am a HP fan and can watch any of the films innumerable times.

As time passed, there was the introductory scene of Prof. Lupin and the Dementors in the train. Freaky one! I really am amazed at Rowling for the work she has done. So much detailing... So many intricacies... So many characters and their own stories.

Later then there was a much more intense scene about Lupin explaining what exactly dementors do while teaching Harry his Patronus charm. And as he does so, he asks Harry to think of his happiest moment... Now that is something that just made my train of thoughts take off!

I remember watching a Robin William film called the Hook. It was, I suppose, about Peter Pan. But I cant recollect it properly. What I do remember peculiarly about the film is the time when he learns to fly. There too, he is supposed to think of his happiest memory to be able to lift himself up in the air!

All these fairy tales, have this one thread in common. The most powerful thing within us, and outside is the emotion of love, of happiness... To do something remarkable, it is this feeling, this power within us that helps us achieve the feat. The same applies when we need to fight our gravest fears, or the most unpropitious elements (in Harry's case, the Dementors).

That honestly gets me to think then, is there anything that is fictitious? I myself am a believer of the occult. And though I rationalize with it as the power of our subconscious, the fact remains that it still continues to be mysterious. But even in this mystery, there is one thing that is evident--- the power of your inner self, your positive emotions, your happiest moments.

These help you to look into your future, to make the most unfavorable conditions work for you, cleanse and energize your chakras and auras, fight your greatest nightmares, and do things that seem impossible to your conscious mind!

It helps you do everything that you want to, and helps you restrain from every temptation that seem irresistible. That is the power that lies within you. Something that is so openly professed everywhere, everytime, but yet people have cold feet to accept it... Well it is always easier to laugh it out than to show the courage to try it out!

Nevermind, as my train took a halt and my daze quickly converted to my fancy towards the movie, I saw Harry fighting it out with the Dementors saving his godfather... All's well that ends well!!!

It would just be so much better if we could also fight the dementors within us with the power that rests within us! First step would just call for some acceptance, and then...well that will be a cake walk,since its only Happy memories after all!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Oneness

Very often, while strolling around, I see old couples walking together. Some of them hold hands, some just walk by the side, while some just guide their spouse through while crossing the road. Some help their partners to climb stairs, while some help to get down the footpath.

Since a little girl, I had this weird feeling in me when I saw such wonderful people. Overwhelming, yet weird.With every step that these couples took on the road, my eyes would follow. I would be lost in a daze wondering as to what this every single step meant to them. After so many years of togetherness, how the slight touches would feel?

As years passed by, I felt the same, exact same feeling in the warmth of my very own house. I saw it in the eyes of my parents. Felt it while on rare occasions they held hands (trust me when I say rare). And heard it when they spoke or fought.

I feel criminal to call them, or on a general note such people a couple. They ought not to be referred as two different people! But I am not quite left with a choice...

As I grew older, this wonderful couple grew by me. And though I am too callow to understand the intricacies of their relationship, I kept maturing watching them mature unperturbed, even in times of great chaos and ataxia!

However hard I try to fathom this unfathomable bond that they share, it just does not cease to intrigue me. On their 25th Anniversary of togetherness called marriage I came across more such people like me who are blessed by the presence of the strength of the oneness of my parents. There was awe and admiration twinkling in the eyes of every guest... Most wanted to be where Aai Baba were as soon as they can be!

Their love was unreckonable. A fact proved by the presence of all of them. They had witnessed the great journey my parents embarked together! And everyone of them were glad they had!

As for us- me and my baby sister--- the feeling was incommensurable. It was a blend of pride, humility, overwhelming adoration and a well spaced inability to consume what my parents have felt, or are feeling. That I suppose we will understand only when we celebrate such a day with our special someone!

This day was one when I truly awed my parents and could not thank the almighty enough for blessing me with such guardian angels. But this day wasn't about me, or about them as parents. And I didn't want to divert the attention to the fact that they are the epitome of being the most wonderful set of parents in the whole wide world. Because this day was about two individuals, who over a period of time became one... Just one! This day was to celebrate the oneness. And to celebrate the joy this oneness has been spreading to all those around since its inception!

Like all others present there, I hope too that years later I will hold someone's hand after years of oneness. And someone curious like me would want to reverie and know more about this oneness!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Intimacy

We talk about the happiness,
And about the life's tragedies,
We discuss everything under the sun,
This is conversational intimacy!

We cry on each others shoulders,
More than often get real senti,
The feelings are always over flowing,
This is emotional intimacy!

All the tickles and the slaps,
And the hugs when life goes crazy.
Are things we cant do without
This is physical intimacy!

Suddenly one fine moment
We realize this grand reality,
Emotional, Physical, Spiritual,Conversational,
We share all sorts of intimacy!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Four and still counting!

You were there when I cried. You made me cry at times as well. But you were also there to cheer me up when I needed it the most. Thank you for that.

Time slips from our hand like sand. What remains are memories. Whether fond or not, that really depends on us. 'Us' honestly, is the fondest memory of my life. Thank you for that.

You taught me to give. That is the biggest thing I have taken from you. To give, and to give selflessly. To give without expectation. To give for the pleasure of giving. Thank you for that.

And you taught me to never give up. What we started off as, and what we are now are two completely different, but equally beautiful entities. For what has gone and what is to come, may, or may not be in our hands. But hope is our biggest anchor. I learnt to hope from you. Thank you for that.

The past was romantic, the present saw more friendly hues. We never know what the future beholds for us. Yet we behold a future together. In what that togetherness materializes, we will see. I am sure we will. As we have for the past 4 years...and still counting!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Girlfriends!

It had been a while since we met,
But for that I have no regrets ,
Cuz' when I saw you today,
We still picked up from where we'd left!
We might be living really far,
Yet our closeness is bizarre,
We meet like we've never been apart,
Cuz' that is really how girlfriends are!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Day to Remember!

She sat with him at a coffee shop. Dazed a bit because of the alcohol, and a little more with the fact that she was with him. She needed the caffeine to get rid of the former. She sat there giggling at nothing, yet enjoying the feeling.

It was sheer serendipity, a fortnight back. Meeting him was sheer chance. And now sitting there in front of him--someone she can never imagine to be with, ever! Not even a slightest hint or trace of sophistication. No articulation in thoughts. Neither a lingual command. Nor any trace of maturity. All the things that she saw in her match were perfectly amiss.

Yet, there was something about him. Being with him made her happy. About herself, more than anything. Since his advent in her life, things took a happy turn. Emotions flew more towards the happy direction. Conversations with people who seemed impossible, became a lot more civilized. Things started falling in place, on their own.

All this in just a fortnight, since she met him first. Now sitting in the coffee shop sipping some yummilicious coffee she ponders about that day. And she looks at him just to realize every stone that turned since then. She likes the feeling of meeting him then, and spending the whole day with him now. She can never forget it. She wants to always have it close-- A Day to Remember!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

If I...

If I were a tear drop,
Would you lose me to your cheek?
If I were to break down,
Would you consider me weak?
If I said I'd never change,
Would you become happy?
If I said I wanted it so,
Would you be with me?
If I reminded you of our times,
Would you make it come back?
If I helped you with all my heart,
Would you fill up the cracks?
If I did spell it out in words,
Would you understand my woes?
If I said I do love you,
Would you still just let me go?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Diamonds

Standing on the beach,
I see the water glisten,
I want those shimmering diamonds,
As the water meets the sand,
So I hold it tight in my palm,
But when I am tempted
to look at it again...I realize,
It already has slipped outta my hand!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Air and Water

Mess of books and notes...
Tension in my room floats...
As I try hard to keep up
With what I read...
I really want...
Some cool water and fresh air to breathe!
Those are the only things
That keep me going
I belong to that creed
Who only need..
Some cool water and fresh air to breath!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Fairy Tale

You woke up, shaken and scared,
The reality on you has left a wale,
All this while you never really knew
That life is not a fairy tale!

You hoped for it to be spring,
In return you faced many gales,
There is no place left to hide,
Since life isn't a fairy tale!

You dreamed of a zillion things,
Wished that you'll smoothly sail,
The tides got better of you,
Cuz' life aint a fairy tale!

You wanted this, you want that,
Thought it will be an easy trail,
Only to be bummed by the twists,
As life isn't exactly a fairy tale!

So if there is something you desire,
You cannot afford to be frail,
Buck up now, give a fight,
Make your life your fairy tale!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

An Earnest Plea!

Diwali has arrived. The festival of lights and colours. May it bring lot of prosperity and happiness to everybody. Here is a small rhyme for my pets...all 17 of them. Tobler, Toofie- my pugs, Tazo, Tazie- my hounds, all my 13 adopted strays who I am to lazy to name here. Toto- My best friend's turtle, and all those lovelies who I know, and even dont! Have a Happy Diwali!

It is the time of festivals,
Oh! Here comes Diwali,
I wonder what it brings though,
To my lil Tobler Toofie...

Whenever she hears a loud burst,
Toofs barks away to glory,
I wonder then if this is how,
It is really ought to be!

The smoke and the pollution,
Makes my Tobby grumpy
Oh I have started to feel,
These festivities are a felony!

When I hear the long drawn crackers,
That the kids really enjoy,
I can feel what Toofie feels,
While she looks me in the eye!

I feel helpless at that moment,
I go weak in my knees,
I promised them protection,
A promise I cannot keep!

They dont like the pollution,
To hear and to breath,
I wish I could do something dahlings,
To provide you a perfect sheath!

So here's what am gonna do,
A humble and earnest plea,
To all those who love pets and animals,
Have a smokeless Happy Diwali!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Vacuum Cleaner

They hung up with a "Good Night"... Still thinking of the conversation that had just transpired, wondering where it would have led if it had drawn a little longer.

It was something both of them were aware of. Yet it seemed rather convenient to not acknowledge its existence. Things were different earlier. A lot merrier. But time had done its magic. The novelty had worn off... And the long period of dormancy had filled in the cracks rather meekly. And the bushing agent was this very vacuum...

She wanted for him to say something. He wished for the  same... But no one spoke. And this went on forever.

She feared for being rude, while he was petrified at the thought of upsetting her again. And so the vacuum kept on filling the space between them. And so the space went on growing on them, between them.

Things seem irreparable. Interacting increasingly difficult. Every word she said was taken to be an assault, every one that he pronounced wasn't just enough. She needed to hear his emotions, he believed in his silence.

As both struggled to tolerate hearing only each others breaths over the other end of the phone, time slipped out of their hands. Nights were their time for introspection. How things were in the past, what they shared at the moment, and what they expect for themselves in the future. They did see themselves together in the future.

Now nights are mere calls of formality, to reinstate the existence of the only substantial thing they share... The vacuum.

So like many of the earlier nights, this time again they hung up with a "Good Night"... Still thinking of the conversation that had just transpired, wondering where it would have led if it had drawn a little longer.

The thoughts lingered on as the sleep deprived eyes became heavier every moment. And then it all began to pacify as sweet slumber took over its reign. The last profound thought--- we need a vacuum cleaner.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Paradise

Little wanderers wandering around,
Searching for their essence of life,
Looking here, and looking there,
Eyeing for their own paradise...

With every breath that filled their lungs
And every vision that saw their eyes,
A feeling of being lost arose,
Being unable to see their paradise.

They reached the highest highs,
Touched the lowest of the lows,
And yet could not figure out,
From where the living energies flow!

Soul searching on their mind,
They reflected and introspected,
After hours and days of the same
They still were dejected...

What is then the kernel of life,
What is that we all delve?
And then they found what they chased,
The answer--- it was within themselves!

Being amazed at the simplicity...
Of where their answer lies,
The penance had finally paid of,
To know that life is THE paradise.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

An Ode...

Waking me up at 5 am...
Cuz I have lectures to attend
And while I leave in a hurry
Your sleep-- always detained!

Your days begin with us in mind,
You master each of your tasks,
All my queries are always resolved
I only just have to ask...

Sometimes I wonder what you are!
A friend , teacher, counselor- on a juggle
You are here, there, everywhere
You are my Super Woman!

When I feel lost and empty inside,
You comfort and make me strong
But you are also the one to whip
When I have to go wrong!

Mothers, I wonder if at all,
Are ever persons of their own
All they think is of their families
By the selflessness..I am blown.

I know it's pointless to say
That I am gonna love you forever...
It is more than a privilege of a lifetime
To have you Aai, as my mother!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Road to Redemption

The tables turned in the blink of an eye. What seemed to be like a wave of opportunity, just turned to be mere false alarm. Things were ostensibly not working out. The superficial layer of hope too, was evaporating at a very fast rate.

Professedly giving up was not an option. And as thoroughly believed, you always call things upon yourself. No one else. No thing else. So along with the fire element being haphazard, the cups were flowing empty too.

A bump or two at the ankle of a loved one. More so threatening was the possibility of a crack in the bone. Rushing to the medical treatment, thoughts wouldn't cease to spare a single moment. Fortunately the air element works right at such instances. Doesn't become too stormy, or hazy!

As the journey continued, things rather unraveled in ways not preferred. But choices and preferences are not offered at such times. Later visits to medical professionals, just somehow brought some peace to the mind. And lots of rest to that loved one! A welcomed healing phase.

With three of four elements turning hostile, there is little or no hope for redemption. Impudence is one quality that has been always cherished. So is graceful acceptance.

Just before the day ends, the air element makes things a little better to deal with. In tarot related jargon...it's the Page of Swords... a messenger. Came through electronic media. Redemption is metamorphic to the inevitable process of day and night. One falls only after redemption. Only to be followed by redemption again.

An unexpected payoff. Sweet savor to be redeemed. So with the end of the night, came another day. Today is that day. Waves of opportunity are at the horizon. This time on, they definitely aren't false alarm. The tables have turned once again. At the blink of an eye.

This is my Road to Redemption.

(P.S: The elements mentioned are as follows---
Air- Mind; Water- Emotions; Fire- Career; Earth- Money.)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hung Over

Waking up in a mystic style,
Looking around at the mess pile,
Wondering what really happened here,
Oh My God, I am really hung over!

Remembering last few things said,
Just before I could hit my bed,
Friends, fun, good times forever,
Yes on that, am totally hung over

Wasn't really the alcohol talking,
We were high on all the yapping,
All we did was blabber and blabber,
On all of that, I so am hung over.

In the car, while returning home,
All had 'dont wanna go' syndrome,
Every milestone that we crossed over,
We all knew we were so hung over.

On my bed, thoughts rushing through me,
I so want to go back to Bordi,
Things there are so simple, much clearer,
On that thought, I'd always be hung over

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Murdered

Blood splattered everywhere,
Flesh tattered and shredded,
The stench of unbearable death,
A visual---by all---dreaded.

On the lowly laid carcass,
The vultures have come to feast,
And it's become difficult to tell,
If the meal were a human or beast.

The heart--- void of love
The eyes are void of emotion,
The life is being finally sucked out,
Of the living- breathing carbuncle

The memories in the mind,
And the dried blood stains,
The few last reluctant breaths,
Are the things that now remain.

With the last moments of life
Still lingering in sadist laughter
The only truth prevailing is that...
An acquaintance was the murderer!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Reflections and more...

When I look at myself in the mirror, more than often I tend to look through me. What I see is not really a mere reflection of a person, but a lifetime. I see people and circumstances. Actions and reactions.

A pool of all of these make me I realise. Everything that surrounds me today, is a result of me. Opposite attracts is a very common perception duly believed by majority. I somehow detest that!

Not wholly though. Attraction is possible. But I am yet to see any attraction holding strong for ever. I rather believe in something more plain. Far less exciting/perilous. It is called 'Birds of a feather, flock together'.

And this is not only true with people. It needs the perfect mix of circumstances, situations, action, reactions, mindsets, and much much more for this very saying to come down into existence.

Hence all good things come at once, and vice versa. You have a bad day at work, simultaneously have health issues when you need to work the most, family problems and hitch with your sweetie pie. Or it could be the other way round.

You start following a particular series on television, or read a particular book, and you suddenly will come across many more doing the same. You even buy something and see an influx of population owning the same!

We live in a world made by our own hands. Everything that impacts us has our name as its creator written all over it...

As humans though, it is our metabolism of sorts to believe otherwise. When things work for us we are happy. But when they dont, somehow we ourselves are never responsible for it.

The reality we create for ourselves, somehow ceases to be real when certain things we do are bounced back at us. We always justify our lies-- the harmless, white ones. But when lied to it is a complete blasphemy!

So when I look at myself in the mirror, I see things both beautiful and ugly. People, situations, and lifetimes...all that are only but a part of me!

Think over it.

Friday, September 9, 2011

R.I.P.

We had been together for so long,
To you I thought I really belonged,
But suddenly you were just gone,
Leaving me feel disgustingly forlorn.

We knew this right from the start,
That only death could do us apart,
It leaves a miserable pain in my heart,
To just watch you brutally depart!

I see someone claiming to be you,
Somehow I know it cant be true,
I can just clearly see it through,
That the guy I loved has said adieu!

What remains are the ghosts of our past,
Our memories which will always last,
Memories that will always be my ballast,
Memories which will never be surpassed!

Life without you seems creased,
Body here, my soul is deceased,
Loving you I can never ever cease,
Hope my love that you Rest in Peace.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

LDR

We talk on the phone for hours,
My cell keeps dropping its battery bars...
Our talks are always so glib,
Is this a Long Distance Relationship?

I have known you for a while,
But met hardly once or twice,
Yet we are so close, its bizarre...
I wonder if this is LDR.

You make me laugh when I'm depressed,
Stop me when I'm about to regress,
You always engross me in your quip,
This seems like a Long Distance Relationship.

It's like--I'm the cell you are the charger,
I am the bottle, you are the opener!
I am the plectrum, you are the guitar...
This sure is an LDR.

You talk to me when you're drunk,
Those times I truly enjoy your spunk,
You sound as if you're on your own trip,
OMG is this really a Long distance relationship??

It's a whole new comfort with you,
Which I share with really few,
You've become a close buddy, you really are!
I am so loving this friendship, our version of LDR...

Monday, August 15, 2011

Tryst with Destiny

15th August 1947--- A nation rose. Out of suppression, dominion, and decades of slavery. A day that was rejoiced. A day that followed after a series of massacres, blood splashing, violence and non violent agitations, sacrifices and compromises. Love for nation more than self.

15th August 2011--- A nation is rising again. Out of sleep, ignorance, indifference, and 64 years of oblivion. A day that will be remembered as fondly as this same date 64 years ago. The same gush of adrenaline rush. The feel to fight for the nation, love for the nation more than self. It sure will lead to the emancipation of self along with nation. But the realization to come took six decades and a little more.

Years by years, time changes. But somethings remain the same. Like today morning along with Times of India dated 15th August 2011, I received a copy of 15th August 1947. I skimmed through its pages. The priced 12 Anna newslet had praises and good wishes for the two new born nations. Today there are only talks of peace and peace talks between the constantly logger head warring nations. And yes! A brilliant advertisement of Colgate. The 1947 copy had a black and white one. 2011 had a colour one.

Another few decades down, things will be aghast different again. Yet certain things will remind us of our roots...from where we grow, come from...leading us to where we need to go.

Though our tryst with destiny was vocalized by Nehru then in 1947, we still with the likes of Anna Hazare fight for our independence and inter dependence. Hail to all our freedom fighters who freed us from foreign captivity. And full support and respect to our fighters today who stride to liberate us from internal reigns that stunt our growth.

Now this is our Tryst with Destiny!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Miss--Understood

One more time I can feel it
Inside me--the raging violence
And the simultaneous struggle
To find some peace and silence

I feel this incredible pain
Stinging me through my heart
I can feel it in my chest
My world's falling apart

Years have now gone by
Its toll, time has taken
Yet, it amuses me how I am
Repeatedly mistaken

Emotions flowed fluently
Never ever seemed undermanned
And now you are saying
That me, you cant understand!

The clock is ticking now
I think am about to burst
Cuz I cant take this anymore
To feel so damn cursed.

I am gonna set you free now
Should've done it long ago
But you have no clue how hard it is
To finally let go.

My final words to you then---
All our times were really good
But unfortunately I will always remain
Your very 'Miss-Understood' 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Gift of You

Life...Life could be cruel
Life...Most times is a duel
You fence, duck, and dive
In a fervid hope to survive

It makes you turn around
Shows you the world upside down
When you are the least prepared
It teaches you whats really 'Unfair'

It makes you slog real hard
Leaves you tattered and scarred
And when you just wanna give up
Life...it shows you how to live it up!

Life...gives you reason to rejoice
Makes you feel strong and wise
When you go weak in your knees
Life brings you some fresh breeze

It is always about the times- dark and bright
About those when you have to fight
So if you feel you're the only one
Look around you'll see another zillion

Buck up now dont lose hope
Get rid of all that you loathe
Its not only about you, you see
So strong it is that you better be!

Life...it is a challenge tough
The ride sure is gonna be rough
Life...yet is funny, it'll come to your rescue
Cuz its greatest gift is the gift of you!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Song

I jus wanna write a song,
But the words aint coming along!
I dunno what to write it on,
But am having this thought for very long.

May be, it could be
Something I have never thought of,
Something about you and me,
Something never even dreamt of...

Or lets say just about, doing my regular chores...
Or may be without doubt, about an interesting lore.

I jus wanna write a song,
But the words jus aint coming along...

A tune hums in my ears,
I am loving it soo, Oh dear!
It sure is some sweet music
All I need is some good lyrics

Dont wanna write about love
Nor about some happy endings,
Neither of lives twists and curves,
Dont wanna write about the same ol' things

It could be something, that you and I will enjoy
Something to sing, that will make us go "Oh Boy!"

I jus wanna write a song,
But the words aint coming along!
I dunno what to write it on,
But am having this thought for very long.

I jus wanna write a song,
But the words yet aint coming along
I still dunno what to write it on
But I bet it'll soon be done...

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Dark Room

My head is infiltrated with this thick layer of something real muculent. I am not quite sure what to name it though. Feelings, thoughts, or just a fragment of my imagination, which is running wild just more than often these days.

The more I am fogged by this something, the more it forms a personality of its own. It becomes real. It comes in forms obscure to me. In phone calls of relatives being unwell, in fights and nasty words, in mayhem and chaos, and even at times in the scintillating nothingness.

My search for sanctum begins inside. The darkness scares me. I feel like a stranger to myself. But at the end of every dark cavern there is light. So I believe...

The deeper I delve, the colder it gets. I like the chill somehow. Soon the heaviness of the bleak stratum increases. And my likelihood towards the arctic feel suddenly transforms me into a very phlegmatic being- heart and soul. Mind, I would not add here. It still feels numb. It still tries to rationalise.

It is a different feel down here. The only thing I can hear in the hum of nihility. The only thing I can see is the cimmerian shade. Only thing I smell is the emptiness of the space. But I can feel something so strong, it over powers all my other senses.

This is the closest I feel to myself. It might be dark, closed, with a strong stench of non entity at the moment. Yet I feel something approaching. Something so marvelous, it will make all this worth going through.

Words have been my forte. If I say all this to someone, I am told it is a phase. But I know it isn't. These are signs. Significant ones. From me to my myself. It is about time I pick them, follow them. Else I will be sitting in the dark room enjoying the freeze, forever!

Looking in here however makes me stronger. More driven by lurid nothing than anything and everything. My Dark Room, inside me. Dwells peacefully. Only to seize me, when I loof around in it...directionless. The dark room will only lead me to light. It provocates me enough to fight. With all my might. 

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Psychedelic

A thought so clear, so clear
A thought that gets me ecstatic
So clear, yet confounding
Me thinks its Psychedelic!

I am trying hard to detangle
A web of certain certainities,
A web so intricate, fabricated
It is a web of Realities

Each angle gives a different view,
Oh each view, so beatific
Unfathomable, unimaginable
It is, for sure kaleidoscopic

For years and decades may be
These have been very mystic
Above and below, inside and out
At times cleft, and at others- solid.

You and I think, know it all,
Yet "All" we know is superficial
Soon we'll be gripped by this truth,
That 'All' that we know is an illusion

So I assume, presume, and consume
These entities, so hallucinogenic
I know what I have got myself into
I know it is psychedelic!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Whose Reality is it Anyway!

It has been pouring cats and dogs for the past couple of days. So my only past time has been the television. Another reason for the idiot box to play such an impetus in my life off late is my internet going on rain breaks more than often.

As I lazed in the comfortable couch with the remote in my hand, I exercised my fingers by surfing the channels. The images of some incongruous nonsense passed in front of my eyes in about a minute or so. And it continued. But amidst that, it dawned upon me that most of them were the images of the self proclaimed 'Reality Shows'.

In my thus state of abeyance, I began to think! A moratorium to my eyes (I am sure I will be blessed for it) from the TV insanity. Every bit of these so called visuals of reality somehow seem very scripted. Dolefully, disdainfully.

I often wonder if these actors, oops no participants as they call themselves, view their reality. And more than that I am intrigued to know if at all this is their Reality.

Less than recent I learnt that we live in a matrix! We make our own realities. Well may be that is true to an extent. But these individual actualized realities then have to intersect at some points. That is the basis of a society. And whether or not you abide by it, you live in one... Man is after all a social animal, aint he?

The verisimilitude of these matrices however depends on our perceptions. So when I see a Reality Show with some loser trying to teach other buncha boys to be a "super stud", I am confounded and at the same time stupified at the vast lapse between the existence of such varied realities.

As the rains kept pouring, my sojourn in my thoughts ended. I changed the channel again and luckily Friends was on air! Ah my god sent angel. At such times when things do not make rationale to me, I keep the thoughts lingering. I know for a fact though that there will be a closure. Soon. In a different Reality!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Nothing to do!

Rolling down my window pane
I see the clear drops of rain
As the drops start to bestrew
I realize, I have nothing to do!

Sitting on the window ledge
I see life as on the edge
It sure has been a gift, a bijou
But right now I have nothing to do!

A drive down the memory lane
Skimming through the losses and gains
Everything I am trying to construe
Because I have nothing to do!

There have been times really tough
I have dealt with them too, well enough
As of now all seems askew
I know I have nothing to do!

I still have a good feeling somehow
Things are gonna be better now
Cuz soon everything will be anew
Since right now I have nothing to do!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

17

Things have been most unsaid between us. But they exists. You know it so do I.

As a child I remember telling you everything, as if I didnt my days were not complete.

I honestly dont even know if you understood half the things I did tell you...

We had mean times too. I remember dropping you off my cycle as a kid. I am really sorry for that! And there are plenty such instances which make me feel really bad. I hope you do not want me to list them!

I have hated you the most many times. You are by far the Nobel prize winner for me as far as irritating me is concerned.

Apart from that you could also be the proud winner of a lot of other nasty things that you do.

But as you turn 17 today, I wanna tell you that you are probably the bestest thing that happened to me. You were always mine and the only thing I have never had to share with anyone.

I might dominate you and you might find me very interfering and intruding, but what the hell thats my business.

So here is wishing you a happy 17 and many such wonderful days always! Most of which will be with me ;)

Cheers to the love hate we share! Cuz I hate you (Like I love you!)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I hate you, like I love you (in brackets)

One of the most sought after flicks of the year, Delhi Belly was a sheer delight. A 'hatke' feast for the eyes and ears the movie has everything young movie goers look for.

For me though one of the most delighting moment was when I saw a friend's name on the screen. His nickname flashed on the credits as the story board artist and stylist for Aru's Tees.

As I left humming the song in my head, my friend and I dwelled in a conversation. A tete a tete about life, career, and relationships.

As the flavour strengthened during the short drive, lives and perceptions, points of view and experiences unlaced comfortably. More like a confrontation of the past and present. A preview of what the future might look like.

Life has its own way of playing with people. Each game has different rules. You cannot compare any two. Cannot play them on same grounds. Each of it is designed for a specific player, best played by him/her.

Life is complicated. Life is unfair. But if that is really so, how do we know what really uncomplicated is? And what is just and fair? The essence of life is in the living. In the 'try me' instead of 'why me'...

There are certain times when we have mixed emotions about things or people. We hate like we love, or love like we hate. I wonder if the two emotions can ever be weighed on a singular scale. But such things exist.

So while we try to rationalize between the rights and wrongs, the emotional conflict persists. And amidst the conflict resolution and trying to achieve a balance we keep humming the song "I hate you like I love you (in brackets)."

My Delhi Belly experience was one such extravagant treat. Inexplicable in simple terms, and yet totally fathomable to an humble heart and mind. And all this amidst a running D K Bose, Nukkadwale Discos, and because "I hate you like I love you (in brackets)."

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

By your side!

In the sun and in rains
All alone in the open plains
Staring at the sky and beyond
Waiting for the golden dawn

Like the first ray of sun
Bringing joy to everyone
Small and chubby like fresh dew
The best thing I had seen, it was you

Your mischief and curiosity created chaos
Your shrill cries were a major turn off
But the minute I'd see your deep dimples
I knew you were my god sent Angel

I saw you crawl, sit, and walk
Those unclear words when you just learnt to talk
And now you are a different you
But you still remain my same baby sis---My Aishu

Things will come and times will go
Life will keep changing its flow
At times things will not seem right
But dont you worry, I am always by your side!




Friday, June 24, 2011

Back to School

It's been 15 years since I joined VVHS. So just in the fond memory of the times and days there...

Get up early, dont get late
Time to rush to the school gates
Morning assembly and prayers
Prefects carrying out their regular affairs.

Days began with value education,
Students however gave least attention
Lots of mischief, and mess
We all waited for the recess...

Dabba sharing and snatching
Missing the stares of teachers who were watching
Second half was generally a bore
Unless it was the P.T. session we adored

Last minute homework done
Troubling teachers was always fun
10 minutes before time screaming "enouugghhhh"
Wasting time with random stuff

Teachers telling us what's wrong and right
Interfering in between all the fights
Always trying to be just and fair
Loving us and showing that they care

Waiting for the last lecture
To run home was always a pleasure
To be first to reach out of the gate
Running fast as if it were a race...

Today all that is in the past
Time has gone by really fast
If there was anything I wish I could do
It was to go back to school.





Thursday, June 23, 2011

Karmabhoomi

15 years back on this very day an 8 year old found a new place to call home. A big house with her very own bedroom. A huge bed for her sister and her. Lots of toys and everything else that she never had before.

But she knew things were going to be different. From a house populated with 12 to 15 people at a time, it was a drastic change to just be living with parents and a toddler sister.

From a convent school to co-ed education, life had taken a different turn. Different people and environment to grow up. Things were not as easy as they seemed at the start.

Talking to boys and hanging with them was a taboo. She wouldn't know coming from a family where she was the only girl with 4 male cousins. Growing with them and their friends was all growing up was about.

Yet there were other inexperienced things. The good ones. Having friends to play with. Having friends around in the first place. Inviting them over and showing them around. Getting invited to their place.

Getting used to all the changes took time. But she never realized how fast it flew. She is 23 today. Her baby sister is double the age she was when she came here. The family of 4 is now of 8 with 4 cute and pampered pets.

15 years gone in a blink of the eye. Yet so many memories, so many people have been a part of this journey. It will continue for much longer I am sure. But looking back at all that has passed just re instills all that I have gained so far!

From the 8 year old girl to a 23 year old adult, life's been a good ride. Loved all the twists and turns. The place and the people. The life and experience.

I cannot boast of being born and brought up here, in Thane...but I can definitely brag about it being my homeplace...my "Karmabhoomi".


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Aayushat Kadhi...

Aayushyat Kadhi...

Aayushyat kadhi aase hi ghadte,
Hasta hasta patkan dole bharun yetat
Kahi na bolta tech aashru
Nakalat sagle sangun jatat.

Aayushyat kadhi aase hi ghadte
eka kshnala hati kahich naste
ani dusaryach kshni ekdum
manala have tech sangle milte

Aayushyat kadhi aase hi ghadte
Jo aplya barobar pavlan paul chalto
aayushachya vegh wadhlyavar
aaplyalach mage sodhun nighun jato

Aayushyat kadhi aase hi ghadte
Matnat aplya khup kahi aste
pan shabdatun kadhich bolat nahi
ani aayushabar tech bochat rahate.

Aayushat kadhi aase hi ghadte
kadhi harto, jhinkto, radato, hasto
ani ayushyacha khara aartha hach
he ase kalun chukto

Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Tribute...

This is a typical rags to riches story. He was the youngest of all the four siblings, two brothers and two sisters. And that by default made him the most mischievous. His father was extremely strict, so growing up was not really a fairy tale. It was the father's way or no way! So he has gone through quite a bashing from his father.
But as fate would have it, at 14 he had to leave behind all his innocence and earn a living for himself after his father expired.

No one forced him to leave his education and earn. The older brothers would have taken that onus. But something in him always wanted him to be self sufficient. And thus began a wonderful journey of hardships, struggles, tears, laughs, friendship, betrayal, love and agony.

He tried working in the day and then attended a night school, but for some reason could not handle it. So could not complete his matriculation. As days passed, he tried his hands at many things...painting lane lines on the road, working at petrol pumps, selling vada pav etc etc. The list is never ending. He is literally the epitome of the saying, 'Been there done that'. (Later however completed a diploma in electrical)

He had friends too. Not the best company to judge someone. So he did all the wrong things too. But he had his share of fun, learnt his share of lessons, and made a lot of friends who stood by him forever and ever. But let me not get into the details of that side of the story.

He was quite a philanderer and wore his heart of his sleeve. Yeah he enjoyed life king size. And his love for cars and bikes was much more than anything else. Especially his 1976 Bullet. And even amidst all this, he did everything for his family. Right from all the commodities needed in the house to taking care of the family members, he never ignored his share of responsibilities.

In his early 30's his finally found his soul mate who was a swooping 14 years younger to him. But much more mature than him I guess (Girl Power!). After a couple of years of prolific and profound friendship, they tied the knot. And the past life and the dark side of it vanished completely, giving up the old ways.

In the meanwhile, the place where he started working as a small time worker in a manufacturing unit, through his hardwork made him a contractor at the same place with about 100 workers working for him. That is 100 families depending on him! Not only that, he has a proprietorship of his own too.

Two wonderful daughters, a lovely wife, four pets to flaunt off, two factories, three cars, two bikes, a lovely farm house and a life majority would envy now lingers at his feet. Yet the most is rooted to the ground and has not forgotten his roots. He knows what he is made up of and knows where he still aims to reach.

This is the story of the man I admire the most in my life. The love of my life and a person worth looking up to, maze Baba. A small tribute on his 57th Birthday.

Life has been full of ups and downs, but what makes him still stand tall is the fact that the man has only wished good for all around him and has never ever staggered to help anyone even if that meant denying something to himself. With a heart as big as anything can be, my Baba is the bestest.

I Love You Baba!

Mwuaah.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Comedy of Errors

*** You hate cockroaches. But almost every time one of those filthy creatures comes in front of you. What is worse, it can even fly.

*** You have to reach for an interview at six. At 5 five you realize you don't have a printed copy of your updated CV. Soon enough you realize that your beloved printer has back stabbed you.

*** You get out of your house against your wishes only because you desperately need a marker. You return with few fancy new pens, refills for the same, whitener. Damn you forgot the marker.

*** For the first time you have finished your assignments on time. The bonus is that you have done them all on your own. You go for your submissions. Your incharge is sick (literally).

*** You skim through the old question papers. You know the repeated questions. You know what to skip. Unfortunately your text book thinks otherwise. The topics you wanna give up are the only one in your text.

*** And you know what is even more unfortunate? The repeated questions are not even answerable by Godfather Google!

*** You want a particular coloured dress/shirt for a function. You have a tight budget. You look around the entire city to find it unavailable. Very very very reluctantly you settle for another colour. Just 2 days later you find the exact one you wanted all over the place!

*** It is another one of those matches where you are a loyalist of one team. Your team has been on a roll and winning all the games so far. This time you decide to call on your friends over, even those who don't support the team you do. Your team loses!

*** You have decided on further studies. Mere graduation is not going to give you what you want. Also you want a good base before to your professional life before you begin it. Even though you are dead sick and tired of education you study hard for all entrance exams. Get a good score. Even a great college. You get a call from your dream company that you have been offered the position you applied for months ago with a beyond imagination package.

*** After a real tiring day you board a train back home. Half way through a man gets up. You occupy his seat and are blessing up. You look up at him, he stares back at you. He was offering his seat to the old man besides you!

*** You are next in line for promotion. You love the profile more than anything else. You get promoted, get a great increment, but the profile has been tampered with.

*** After a real long time your house is empty. Parents are gonna be out for the entire day. You plan a romantic day at home with your special someone. Alls set, the doorbell rings!!! Surprise Surprise its your auntie and the entire family from the other State!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Mamihlapinatapai

Brogue, communication, language, words, and all other forms of expression are the most beautiful gifts that we received from our maker.

And though words are mightier than swords, there are other means to convey what you want, whether or not you intend on doing so. Almost 77% of our communication takes place through non verbal means. So articulation is not the whole and sole to convey what you want to.

Every single day of our lives we learn new ways of communication. When you want a friend to stay shut in front of your parents- you give him/her a stare. To show your disinterest you roll your eyes. You throw sarcasm with a fake cough. And so many more...still adding every moment.

At every stage of our life we learn new methods to make our lives easier in our social setting. We even communicate with other species. I remember back in the III Grade I would tease the cuckoo by mocking her. She would really be annoyed and screech even louder.

In college there were ways of telling friends to proxy attendance, or that the professors almost in class at awkward times without making much use of mighty words. When I wanted some lone time I could easily make it prominent. Or when I wanted to talk something important to my boyfriend, a glance could convey the message.

While travelling too, you can spot people who will not even shift a millimeter to accommodate someone from those who are happy to help. From the happy go lucky ones to the frowns and fights with spouses. Everything is on their faces, body, and aura.

My pets can communicate what they want too! Whether Tobler wants a loo break at 4.00 am or Toofie wants her favorite treat, or whether Tazo and Tazie wanna laze around on the couches, or when my strays want me to rub their bellies, I know it just very well. That is our language that only we understand.

I am sure as I grow older I will learn newer ways to communicate. Like today I learnt a new word 'Mamihlapinatapai' (courtesy Spanky) meaning: Two people looking at each other each hoping the other will do what both desire but neither is willing to do. I know which cord it strikes first, and it is the right cord because that is what it exactly is intended at... But looking at it from some other point of view I realize that it does not necessarily have to be lust and physical desires.

We all experience mamihlapinatapai. Say when my sister and I are both equally lazy to get up and switch on the fan/ AC/ TV set. I experience mamihlapinatapai. And so many other times too.


The point is that communication is a multi faceted, powerful, and mysterious tool in our hands. So I'd rather not try to confine it to a specific dimension. Be it a spoken language or otherwise, giving it space to breathe and develop into varied meanings, is a privileged experience for us. That is the whole reason why I guess we never stop learning the art. We only look at the varied facets of it and try to grasp it... That is what I am doing right now and you too are doing the same!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Exam time=Fun Time

Exam times seem like the most interesting period in life. Because this is probably the only period when life becomes unexpectedly very interesting and you just do not find the time to do the things you have planned on, and the way you have planned them.

The otherwise mundane things, and even people just suddenly become the most titillating. Your walls out of the blue look different, the soap operas your parents watch catch your attention as if missing them would change your life forever, and suddenly you feel like taking a deep...deep interest in your sibling's life.

Whats more, you suddenly realize that your textbook isnt enough, so you hunt for references and answers online. While doing so, however your Facebook is still on, uploading pictures and statuses...and commenting on others (its like FB has a mind of its own!).

So here is what I do. In the most interesting phases of my life, namely during exams I too avoid studying like everybody else. Some how my schedules just go haywire during this time. Natures call has no timings they but, but mine become unusually unusual (with all the pun intended).

I take plenty of loo, water, snack. etc breaks. Or let me just put it in a simpler way. I take study breaks once in a while in my crazy line up of television, going out, and internet etc. It helps. Trust me. I have cleared all my papers with a first class.

Another important thing is that I am not too proud of what I do, so do not propagate it. But when asked, in a very subdued manner I speak the truth. Now that is the thing with truth. It is a very twisted thing you know. When I tell people what and how I spend my days, they think I am lying.

Well wow! That is great. I do not mind that. I take that as a compliment very humbly. OK so I am lying, and then what is it that I really do...STUDY is the answer. Well alright then assume away. I still score as much!

Then people take the liberty to ask me where do I get so much time to do things I enjoy. Like my blog, facebook, friends, pets, going out. And I say to myself, 'Oh come on people are you really that dumb?' Cant they really see through my schedule? Nevertheless I assume they believe I excel at time management.

So here it is, out in the open. An honest testimony of what I do in my so called study leave. And acknowledgements are appreciated. However if you still want to believe otherwise please do so. I will be happy if people think of me as some super woman doing everything right.

Just remember eat alot, sleep even more and do things that you enjoy. Because once this time is over and you have finished your exams, life's a rough ride!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Life and Equality

Life, defined as the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

So according to the above delineation, anything and everything that is capable of being distinguished from being dead or inorganic and is gifted with the proficiency of adaptation and the ability of growth and reproduction all belong on an equal platform.

Every such capable being then should enjoy the right to life and the right to live equally. But one question that lingers in my head most often is that, when the creator himself chooses to not distinguish between the worthiness of the various living creatures on earth, and else where if they exists...and even humans, in all their capabilities define and annote and bundle all living beings together, then why is it that the nobility of some is ranked higher than most?

We have seen various organizations and people working towards establishing certain set standard of living for humans. Many opine that once this task is accomplished, we can move towards other species. I at most find this ironic. A life is a life...be it humans, animals, or even insects. Who are we to decide the chronology of their importance?

Thinking of it with a rather out of the box view, if there were no other beings on this planet than humans the world would have not really been the same. We depend on them for our survival. But if the planet existed without the so called superior race, the others would have been much happier!

It is alright to prioritize at a personal level and then form your groups according to your coinciding priorities. But let us not generalize. We have no right to put a price tag on someones or somethings respiration process...on their survival. Working for any of those who do belong to the above said living organisms is a moral deed in itself. Let us not belittle our own race by arranging the rest in a descending order of their importance.

Respect the fact that they survive in a world that is rightfully theirs, but is owned by us. Because life after all is defined by the power to adapt and that is exactly what they have been doing...with or without a choice!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Guess Work

While it was happening, it pierced like a needle drilling into me million times in a god damn minute.

As it neared its end, the pain became personified, though all looked great and I was happy it was over.

Days passed, but the burns were still felt. I think the healing had begun. The most painful part of all.

It pricked, burned, pained, hurt. I could not even sleep and kept thinking about it. I kept switching sides missing my sweet slumber.

Another couple of days, and the wound seems to be healing. As the pain still accompanies, there are scabs reminding me of what transpired...

No medicine made it better. Just a long haul for the healing to complete. Healing is painful. One of life's inevitable truth and a deeply engraved lesson.

It is slow and makes you go through your traumas and memories of the same every single moment.

I guess then that is how it actually heals...when there comes a time when the same memories do not hurt...do not bother...do not even make a difference.

And as the effervescence of the wound and its feeling begins to flatten and stale away, you see the rough scabs giving way to pale skin. It still piques, but you know it is about time.

Finally, then one day dawns when the white pale skin has converted into something that just perfectly matches to what your normal skin looks like. There is no sign of pain or irritation...

Just a wonderful imprint of what happened.

You love to keep looking at it, to remind yourself of all the efforts you took to have it, of everything else that has brought you to it.

Everything in life is processed in the same way, at time you look at the wonderful remains with a glint of happiness in your eyes, while other imprints are there to remind you of what not to do to go through the same painful sojourn.

They act as your warnings...to stay away from things, events, and even people at times.

I just experienced one such process. Now it is up to you to guess which one I am referring to!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dear God- II

Dear God,
Our last conversation was read my many, and all could relate to it... So much so that it infact has led me to give birth to one of the most substantial and inseparable part of my life, my blog.

Since my previous successful attempt of trying to reach you through something that I enjoy---writing, a lot has transformed and reformed in my life and around me as well. Things have changed for the better, and in many ways even I have.

Having said that I would not dare deny my sporadic withdrawals to my older ways. I keep getting back at those sometimes. But not as much to detest it bitterly. Not yet. I am trying to negate my U turns forever though. I am sure it will happen. Soon!

Dear God, Life is beautiful. I realize the more I believe in it, the more it becomes a reality for me. It sometimes becomes very importunating, while at others it remains undemanding. But whatever transpires it stays beauteous.

Another thing worth mentioning is our frequent tête-à-tête off late. It is often in the form of a very normal conversation, and even confrontations with my loved ones. Thank you for making me feel so special. Thank you for making me realize that I am important.

Dear God, I once again want to show my gratitude to you for being with me always. Guiding me, loving me, 
irritating me, and just watching over me. The more I acknowledge your presence around me, the closer I get to you, the more connected I feel to you.

P
eople ask me often if I am a believer. I am boggled while answering. My perception of you, dear god, has changed a bit. I believe that you exist. I believe that you live. I see you. You are everywhere around me.

On my 23rd birthday you made sure you did everything to make it special! You began the celebration right since 16th April. Thanks for the extended birthday over the weekend. What a surprise that was!


Then on 17th you took me out for dinner. I had a very good time I must say. And while you had dinner with me, you also at the very same time were preparing for a surprise for me. For that I must say you lied several times to me over the phone!


At the stroke of midnight you gave me my biggest surprise, thank you again. Then the several calls, texts, and facebook wishes...Thank you for all your blessings. You also came home with some cake, gifts, and chocolates. And gifted me cash as well!!! Also all the cuddling, and petting...Life is incomplete without it and without every single thing you have done for me in various forms, shapes and sizes over the past 23 years.


So I guess that is my answer for those who ask me if I believe in you. It is sad that they have not yet shared any experiences with you, or any other form of you. I hope you enlighten them soon!


Dear god, it was a wonderful year. This year has begun in an even better fashion. Everything looks just bright enough for me to advent into brand new ventures, and relationships... yet another medium to connect to you.


Finally I hope to see you more often as you can clearly see I cannot get enough of you, even when at times I feel like either killing you or myself... However I can resist that temptation for sure... I know, and so do you ;)


Dear God, Thank You

I am Glad you still Love me!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

You Make Me Love Myself!

I was so keenly waiting to meet my friends, one of whom I would be meeting after two years. But as the evening approached, there was confusion as to what is happening.

So I almost gave up on the whole meeting idea, succumbed to my couch in front of the idiot box. And just when I was becoming comfortable with the idea of lazing around, tring tring my cell buzzed. They are already together waiting for me.

It took me a while and a whole lotta motivation to convince myself out of my sweet lethargy. But my yen to see them actuated my to get into the first set of clothes that I saw and leave.

The restaurant was one I have not been to in decades. So it was a weird feeling. But seeing those lovely familiar faces did the trick. It brought me extreme 'joie de vivre' to see her--- Manu! And then began the scintillating venture of what remained less known for the past couple of years.

So we were five of us, later joined by another of a dear one with a cake. I assumed it is to celebrate the return of an old friend. As the burble and gabble continued, the cake was put in front of my face to my oblivion of the wishes scribbled over it.

It read "Happy Birthday Aashi" and that indeed was for me!!! The feeling was remarkably enigmatic, to say the least. And there were presents too... I felt like the most special person there, all thanks to my dear friends.

After many more minutes of laughs, giggles, finger licking to finish the last morsel of the heavenly cake, and corny, pun intended stupid double meaning statements, the cheque was paid, and the finale saw us enjoying pan and laughing as we put 'the entire big thing in our mouths' (courtesy Rohit Narke).

The awesomeness about having such friends is that it makes birthdays, and every other special occasion worth celebrating and really special. This one will remain with me forever, just like these cartoons who made it so very special for me.

On a final note though I feel pretty dazed for not having treated them. But I assure you it is due soon...very soon! My keen wait finally ended with an exorbitantly special evening, and an even better feeling!!! So much and that too two days before the actual day!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Judge'mental'???

Life gives you so many different experiences that there comes a point where it becomes difficult to judge anything, or even to reach a conclusion. There comes a day in everyones life where everything that you believed in formerly seems to be an illusion.

We as humans, and as individuals have been blessed with powers that no other species enjoy. We have the power to emote and perceive. And we have an expertise in the same. People love to perceive and then emote, at times even un-called for perceptions and emotions are served on the plate, which again makes the other who is served with it to do the same. It is a vicious circle, the cycle of life. But the point that I am referring to is the one that might break this very vicious cycle, giving birth to may be a new one.

I had a training session recently where I trained professionals more than double my age. The very thought of it made me proud, I will not lie, to be training people who have gathered so much experience. But at the end of the four hours I only realized what I need to be trained on! More than what they must have gained, I am sure I did. The zeal with which they attended and participated in the session was unsettling of sorts. It gave me hibby gibbies. It made me realize that I should be more humbled that proud to be training these stalwarts...and I call them so because they were there without any inhibitions! They were there to learn, grasp and grow.

At a stage in life where there are only new beginnings for me, this is a lesson that stays forever. It is never too late for anything, and in your hands is everything. Excuses will always be irresistible but the real sense of achievement comes when you actually overpower this very temptation. Whatever I want, I know will come my way when I make sure I strive for it. People say hard work will get me to places, but more than that knowing what you want and how to get it is more important. Hard work sure is not negligible, but it also isn't the whole and sole...People have worked hard to get where they want, but when they do they realize that there is no one to be with them...They realize that there is no feeling of achievement to it at all.

I do not want to be like anyone. But I want to be someone people will look up to. I am working on that. I know I do not need to slog for it. I will work just enough to attain my yin yang. I will work enough to be what I ought to! Life sure does gives us so many different experiences that there comes a point where it becomes difficult to judge anything, or even to reach a conclusion. Everything I have thought and perceived looks like an illusion, but what has begun now is a fresh start to something that is going to be one of the most enriching and memorable journeys!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Champions of the World

Indians all over the world had their eyes glued to their idiot box on 2nd of April 2011. It was a day when history was created by the Men in Blue.

Six weeks of hard work, pain, struggle, pressure paid off as the Indian Captain M. S. Dhoni ended it all with his legendary Helicopter Shot.

Praises from all over the world, every Indian proud to be one. The team deserves every bit of it. Tendulkar deserves every bit of it.

But what if it was not for the team to bring the cup home? Would anyone have even considered the blood and sweat gone into the 6 weeks to reach the finals and put up such a great show?

Dhoni is being adulated for his captaincy, for his conviction, and his leadership. For his will of taking responsibility and chances. For coming before Yuvi in the batting order.

If, and I might sound like a cynic...but if it was not for such a fairy tale ending, most people screaming praises for Dhoni and his team would be abusing them for their same measures. None can deny this fact.

I am glad that after the Australian victory, Dhoni commented on how stones were pelted on his Ranchi residence after they lost the 2003 Cup, and how he is overwhelmed by the appreciation by the same population.

This population deserves to be reminded that our Men in Blue are humans after all! Its great that they won, but even if they hadn't, they sure still very much commanded all the respect. We owed it to them.

There is lot to learn from the Indian Captain. Leadership being the first on the list. Ownership of mistakes, and sharing of the credits. Being honest to the entire nation, to the team, and most importantly to oneself.

There were no blame games for mistakes and no lime light hogging for victories. The cup was supposed to be won in the name of the Master Blaster---and so it was won for him.

Everyone stuck to their words and emotions. The captain was seen no where claiming his authority. It was as if he owed it to Sachin, his team and his nation.

And once the task was accomplished, he was at peace. The adrenaline was pumping and the rejoice was all over his face, and yet it was over powered by peace and serenity.

That is what makes for a perfect leader. Management has just found a brand new personification for the term Leadership. I hope it is put to proper use.

On a final note, I would just hope that once Dhoni retires from Cricket, he joins the Indian Politics. We sure need someone like him to make us feel proud of being an Indian.

Leaders like him always create history, it is only sad that we do not have many in spheres other than sports!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Little Things that Matter Much

As a school kid I remember flipping the pages of my school calender. The final few were titled 'Little Things That Matter Much.'

Personally, I would hope and pray and strive hard not to get those ones filled. I loved them vacant, with no scribbling and signatures. Those were the remarks section.

Little things like punctuality, discipline, doing your work on time etc.

To be precise, it meant coming to school on time, with proper uniform and nails cut short and hair kept tidy, proper shoes- neat and polished,completed note books and homework.

However for some reason these were never Little Things for me. Since childhood these things were the most important. I grew up following and abiding by them.

As an adult today, I still have the same beliefs. Things that are itsy bitsy and insignificant to most, have an ultimate impact on me.

The magnitude of the impact is so much, that in fact these are the only things that I feel ever matter to me.

This is what sets me apart from others. 
Doesn't make me unique, but actually makes me unidentifiable. It makes people fail to rationalize with me, to relate to me.

I am accused of blowing things out of proportion. I do not deny their points of view. Certain things are definitely 
minuscule for others. I do respect that fact.

But that does not convince me enough that those very things are unimportant in reality for me.

I have been arraigned to find it extremely onerous to let go off petty things. But these people fall short of comprehending the fact that these things are not petty for me at all.

I know I am meticulous, but that is a way of living for me. Whether or not others find it adorable and admirable, I still want to continue letting the so called 'petty things' matter.

They make a difference, and in the long run these are the things that will decide if my final goal is reached or whether there is still some unfinished business.

Every person faces this dilemma of being someone or believing in something others cannot justify. Nevertheless, I believe it is important that you still stand up to the odds and stand up to yourself.

I love things being in the place that they are meant to be. I love my bedsheets, pillow, and quilt neat and un-crumpled. I love the alignment called 'Justify' in MS Word. I love the default settings of my IT products (well, most times).

And it totally puts me off when people fiddle around and do things otherwise.

Although just as much as I take pride in my priorities, I also affirm to the fact that everyone around me does not share the same. I cannot and would not even like to force mine on them.

Back to school, remarks in the calender was a thing for many to be proud of, for some it didn't matter- they were oblivious to it, while for others it was a form of humiliation!

For me it wasn't really about the remark and my parents signature. It was more about me and what I believed in. It was really about all those things that mattered a lot to me, my being entirely.

The most important things in my life--- the 'Little Things that Matter Much!'

Friday, March 25, 2011

God Does it Too!

I recently read an article by Harsha Bhogle (most of FB users did) about the sort of pressure Sachin lives in. My respect for the master blaster grew ten folds after that simple and straight to the point article.

There are a million plus perspective to look at things. Each of which has a valid point. Yet for some reason the simplest ones seem the most difficult to be interpreted, and are always the last to reach our brains and sensitivities.

Cricket is not my religion, nor my passion. It is only a game. A game that I enjoy. And even then I believe that Sachin is God. In 22 years of his career, he has only elevated, not only in experience, but also in his play and skill.

That is what makes him God. He stands true to explain the saying, 'Respect should be commanded and not demanded'. It would be safe to say that absolutely no one would be so lowly to not respect the man himself.

I sat on the edge of my sofa watching the quarter finals of the CWC 2011 at Motera, Ahemedabad. I jumped every time the Indian bats hit the balls, my heart pumped each time the Aussies ran towards the batsmen.

But one thought that would not leave my head was what if we lost this one? Disappointment. Anger. Sadness. Home ground and still we lose. Master Blasters last WC perhaps. And much more...

The tempo in my drawing room was so high and the pressure so intense...My family tuned in the screens, eyes literally popping out. I just could not help but contemplate on how much really was at stake for us at home...and how much for our men in blue themselves?

The heaviness of losing the match and hitting my sack disappointed in contrast to the extreme anguish and millions of haunting curses of one entire nation. Comparable? I guess not.

It is easier to expect than to live up to it. We cannot even be consistent in our daily routine like the time we get up in the morning, or the way we drive. But we do not miss to expect 11 boys doing their best each time, against any and every possible circumstances.

Sure I am no expert to comment on this. It may seem like 'the comedy of errors' to some, while others would put themselves to rest by sheer criticism. But it still is humanly impossible to do what we expect them to.

Sure God plays on our side, but he makes his bloopers too! Thats embossed in history, religion, and mythology. No one can deny that. And it sure needs its own benefit of doubt!

One cannot keep asking for reviews there. That too is only 2 per inning!

Overjoyed by our win today, I am looking forward to the semis. I am positive that the impact of this victory will not have diminished by then. Another win against our age old rival Pak will only glorify the glory! Else if we are defeated, it would be a gory one that will be unforgotten for long.

But then again, the impact of Harsha's write up will not attenuate for a very long time as well. Not only when it comes to cricket, but also in other spheres where expectations have no boundaries, not only from humans but even from God himself. I will be certain to remember that God himself can bungle too!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

SuperStar

Closer to yourself, just close enough
To feel every breathe you take in,
Aloof from all the normal stuff,
Away from everything.

The fiddle, the doodles, and  the jitters,
Loosen them off today
Remember yourself and your childlike desires
Unleash them, let them stray

Closer to yourself, know you better
You as someone else
Someone you hadn't been earlier
Still inside you who dwells

One day, just one: close to perfection
Not for what should be
Nor inspection, neither introspection
Just enjoy your own identity

Closer to yourself, closest you have been
Rejoice and be fervent
Pack all the memories you can glean
Make sure you live this moment.

Today is the day, make it count
Do what you want and be what you are
Today is your day, you are the viscount.
You're your very own Superstar!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Happy Holi

India is a country which is symbolized as an example of Unity in Diversity. We have so many cultures and traditions, more than half of which we ourselves are unaware of. But those that are celebrated, are done so by all.

One such festival is that of Holi. It signifies the synthesis of all colours, people, ideas, and thoughts. It is a festival of harmony and homogeneity. A celebration that consumes everybody, irrespective of their gender, caste, and creed.

It symbolizes the victory of good over evil- the mythology of Holika turning into ashes as Bhakt Pralhad coming out safe from her lap.

Holi is also our way of thanking God for the spring, for good harvest. Holi is lit on the full moon night as a mark of the advent of spring...on the last day of winters. To bring in some warmth.

Back to the present...what is holi for us today. Amidst global warming and more than three fourth of us feeling that we would die of a heat stroke, Holi to bring in more warmth seems suicidal to me.

And then when people do not get water to drink, we splash it around on everyone wasting it in the name of Holi. Does all this really exemplify celebration?

If Holi stands for unification, think about all those who do not consider it as a celebration! The animals who hate the colour and being forcefully drenched in water, the birds who do not quite enjoy the smoke up in the air, and the humans who would rather use the water to drink than play with it.

With changing times, our way of celebrations too need some well deserved modification, if it still needs to stand true to its raison d'etre...good over evil or unity in diversity. And it is about time that change is brought in.

I am not against the whole idea of coming together and having some fun, but I do detest doing so on the stake of someone else...be it humans or others.

Celebration for me would be including everyone around me in it. Have fun with friends, without harming others... Celebrate a festival without making it a nightmare for others.

That is what Holi means. That is what each and every festival means. This is what in true sense celebration and happiness means.

Let us all be the change by just being aware of what is the real requirement of the hour.

Wishing you all a very Happy Holi!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Life's a Catastrophe

Life, like everything else has two faces. The beautiful one and the ugly one. And both the faces show up in a well balanced way through out.

Perhaps that is why history is always believed to repeat itself. There are plenty of 'Deja Vu' instances. Part of these can make life look and feel like a celebration. While the remaining one's make life a catastrophe.

One such Deja Vu was recently witnessed by the Land of the Rising Sun. The ghost of its past resurrected only to wash out the glorious present it had built overtime.

Hundreds and thousands lost everything. What remains is probably the nightmarish memories of what happened, and the fears of what it will lead to.

Numerous words can be uttered, but very little can be actually done to make any of this any better. The only little relief could be that our own loved ones are safe!

Yet history will repeat itself. There will be revivification and restoration. It will take its due course of time, but it will happen for sure.

Life too is nothing less than a series of events, most times repeated events. We fall on our face, to get up with vigor, to fall back.

Each time the fall gives us a similar excruciating pain just like the earlier one's, and each breath of new life fills us with overwhelming joy just the same of the last refurbishment.

The degrees vary, but the feeling is the same. This is the true essence of life. When we stop getting up after a fall, we stop living. Life stops then.

It may be the hardest thing to accept defeat and back down. But the hardest of the hardest thing to do is to muster the courage to put the pieces of the puzzle back in their place.

I personally am not a believer of the theory of the world coming to an end in 2012. But if it were even to happen, we would have the whole evolution right back from its very inception.

There is no point in fearing the adversities. The brilliance would be in preparing for the bounce back. 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Selfishly Selfless

In a world where time is the most precious thing we have in hand, and that in itself is the most difficult give away for people, it sure is a delight to see certain few alms their time to others.

It is a strong belief that humans are selfish by nature. They do nothing that does not recompense. But I wonder if if at all it is that bad to think of our own self first?

Even going by this very theory of humans being the most selfish creatures, one cannot but endure the fact that there are people who find gratification in doing things for others. In fact they satisfy their self motives by devoting their time for others!

Many do it around us, if we choose to notice. Some do it visibly, while others choose a more subdued way. Some work for the like kind, while others for the lesser one's.

I am blessed to be associated with such wonderful people who bestow their invaluable time and energy for my stray friends, and other animal species. They find solace to make Animals Happy- by making Humans Happy.

That is fair enough. Lots of time, love, affection, care, dedication, and commitment is required for this task. Much of which I may morosely lack. But helping in a way or another, or just being affiliated with the cause makes me feel better.

It is most definitely true that time is the most precious thing in our hands, and the most difficult to giveaway. But in bits and parts, along with the other gifts that we do enjoy being the most supreme race, most being compassion, we all could contribute to it.

No gesture is small enough to be neglected, to be unworthy of being considered. Many small things together make for one behemothic movement. Let' s be a part of it...Making animals and humans happy, making every moment count.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Some Days...

Some days are just so beautiful. They get you so much peace and relaxation. And the best part about these days is the fact that there is no particular reason behind the equanimity.

The day begins like any other. As it progresses however, things just start falling in place. One after another.

You plan on doing something, and you land up doing exactly that (which is seldom) and a lot of other things along with it.

And so you feel delighted about the day. You have a gut feeling that all is going to be just the way you want it to be.

Suddenly, perhaps you might find a few bumps here and there. Flip flops and change of mind. But the minute your composure starts to tilt, the day shows you its brighter side again.

There are surprises in store too. Things that seemed pretty ordinary captivate you. The best part being they make you feel nice about just being you!

And so do certain people...Do small tiny things for them, and their acknowledgement is far from what you expect. Such people are rare. People who can make you love yourself!

You will find many who will love you, even without expecting a thing in return. But these people who get so overwhelmed with small gestures, who really value and appreciate things done for them, are what, at many occasions make being ourselves more joyful and blessed.

These people and such incidences make certain days extremely special. They also give a different perspective on life. A perspective that makes the world around us a happier, and in the bargain a better place.

Some days then become just so beautiful. And with such people around, most days become as enriching still letting you enjoy the luxury of not rationalizing over the tranquility.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Known-Unknown

We live in a world of abstruseness. There are so many things around us that we have no clue about. We live in a land of the unknown, the obscure. There is little that we know, so much so that humans actually seem belittled by the pranks nature chooses to play on us.

The human kind, the most supreme race falls for the trap. Our environment convinces us of our unequaled status, only to then disillusion us by its own perplexities.

There is nothing around us that happens without a reason. From the most diminutive to the most colossal circumstances and incidences- all lead to a specific end. They all are meant to be.

Most of these are accepted by humans. The others which surpass human understanding are all branded with various tags- of the unknown.

And since humans are the ultimate living beings, we take liberty to make reasons behind the happenings. The wrath of mother nature, or the discrepancies of something else.

When nothing works we label it as irrational. Rationality is subjective. What may be rational to one may not be the same to another. Yet we deny this. Yet we choose to believe that everything that is not coherent with our perceptions and beliefs is, but ofcourse- irrational and therefore not acceptable giving humans the right to criticize.

We fail to understand that understanding everything in not in our capacity. Though things are never unreasoned, reasoning out every single thing is not in human soul, mind or body.

This gives birth to emotions of the other kind, fear, hatred, mistrust, criticism, denial. Are'nt all of these born of a single mother- lack of understanding?

There are so many things that we do not even know about our own self, let alone the whole wide world. Our subconscious, our dreams, our mind may all hint us towards unraveling things about us often unknown to us. We, most times choose to ignore, blinded by our pride over the farce belief that humans know it all.

It is alright to not be all knowledgeable. It is alright to not know things. What does really make us supreme is the fact that we can accept that we are still under the mercy of something way too powerful than us. Something that pulls every string for a specific reason, which may or may not be comprehensible to our human super brains!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mass Bunk

Bored of lectures,
Let's have some fun,
I am bored of the professors
Let's mass bunk!

Go to the open skies,
Breathe some fresh air in,
Let's mass bunk,
Do different things!

Let's mass bunk,
Have different points of view,
Get out of the four walled classes.
Go enjoy the sunlight and dew.

But is it that easy, I wonder,
To always mass bunk,
To avoid things you do not like,
To avoid your boredom.

Life is not always fun and frolly,
There are time you gotta compromise,
So do what you like, like what you do,
That is the true essence of life!

As college students, it was always good fun to walk out of lectures and professors we did not like. Major reason being boredom.

But as I grow older, I realize life is not college. I cannot 'bunk' things that do not coincide with my interests...It is not that easy to just avoid things you do not want to face.

There are things I will have to live up to, for myself and for people around me.

But along with that, I also now understand that just because 'I' do not fancy something, does not imply it is unimportant or abortive. Not always!

Whether or not I enjoy them, certain things are important and will never cease to be so.

So I have learnt to do what I enjoy. But I am also ferreting out the pleasures of enjoying things that I do otherwise. I understand it is important.

As I enjoy the last phase of my college life I am trying to attend lectures that I do not like too! Yet I would not deny my inclination towards avoiding certain classes...

So let's Mass Bunk!!!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Never Mind

It is not the most atypical thing to be misjudged, or to infact misjudge someone. It keeps happening every once in a while. Incidences and people do make us swallow our own thoughts and words.

Conspicuous as it is, first impressions are very difficult to be undone. They might not always be the last impressions though, as with time our perceptions change, so do people we perceive.

But all first impressions are not misconstrued. The first vibe that we get from the aura of the person may be the most definite and unambiguous thing about the person after all.

Yet perhaps you want to give it a benefit of doubt. You try to uncover and unravel more about the person before you brand him or her with your judgement.

At times deep down, you know that you are right, and chastely still want to think otherwise. I know that happens. It does happen to me.

But as they say "once a priest, always a priest, and once a beep, always a beep"... This stands true in many cases!

In Marathi there is a saying "Mool Swabhavala Aushad Nahi...To Kahi Badlat Nahi" (There is no medicine for your root behaviour/character...Nothing changes it). From cradle to grave, there are some tendencies that we always have to ourselves.

I recently tried patching up with someone who I have not been on very good terms. And on the very first interaction of almost after 3 years, he did the exact same thing that had ticked things off between us in the first place.

I truly believed that from being 19 years of age to 23, things would have changed, and things would be different. But Alas! He still does the same thing I hate, and I still hate the same thing he does just as much!

So as this realization dawned, I hung up on him immediately, and more importantly calmly and politely. I did not blow my lid off. Yayiieee!!! That is arduous and burdensome for me most times, so I am happy I pulled it off so well.

Now to the epicenter- How did I manage to do something that to me is so gargantuan and difficile???

As absurd it may sound, it was actually very simple...As soon as I felt my temper soaring, I said to myself 'Never Mind'

That just did it for me. From then every time I faced a challenging situation, or even people I say these very words to myself. However if I still want to pursue the task, I just add two lines more...

So the final verdict sounds like, 'Never Mind...There is always a next time'

These sure as some magical words. Try them if you may. They always do wonders for me.

Oh yes, if they do not work for you in the first attempt, be patient... Remember to add just another line - Better luck next time!

Never Mind!!!