Its been more than 22 years. So this one is long long due. I myself find this real weird, but sometimes (in my case most times) weird things give you the most pleasure and satisfaction. Life has been a roller coaster ride. The best part is that I am glad you designed the roller coaster for me.
I have not shared this with many, not even you. I have blamed you for all the bad things. I have forgotten you most times in the good things. But dear God, today I have grown enough to say that you are not responsible for either of them in my life. The one who is responsible is me, and I can proudly own up for it today. Nevertheless, I would not take away the credit from you for letting me, just be! Also my parents and family.
I have come across bad people, worse incidences, and worst feelings. Negativity is not unknown to me, like most humans...mortals! There were times I have felt it, lived with it. It has run through my veins. And dear God, do you know what is worse, I have even enjoyed it. But of course you know all of it...you have after all been blamed for all of it. Yet, everything changes. That is one rule you cease to change, don't you?
Today I am all grown up and mature. Well, that is with reference to context with how I was previously, so do not expect me to be all pervasive, like you. No I am not that. Not yet. I would not calmly take down people blaming me like you do. Sorry I cannot. But yes, today I can be strong enough to face what I have got myself into. The bad things. And yes, I have also grown enough to give others the credit for the good things. So dear God, thank you for everything.
I have friends, gem of people. Friends who have stood by me, through thick and thin. Then I have friends, those who have not bothered to see if I am dead or alive, and neither have I to see them. But dear God, these too, are just one call away whenever I need them. And then I have friends, who have taught me things the hard way. Made me go through back stabbing and other negative emotions. Yet dear God, I call them friends because these are the people who have made me grow into a better human. And you know why I had them around, well of course you know...yet I choose to answer. I had them around because sometime, somewhere I had done the same to someone. Rules are rules right. You do not budge on them. Whatever you do, comes right back at you. That is rule number 2. So I have learnt. . So I have grown.
Before I conclude, thank you Dear God for teachers, professors and trainers. They help me grow. They help me learn...Do you think it is possible to write this without them. Small words, but deep meaning nevertheless.
And finally Dear God, thank you for being my Dear God. Thank you for being there with me. I see you, I talk to you. I love you and at times even hate you. I fight with you, I abuse you. But isnt that how you intend it to be? Isnt that why you choose to be around me in the form of my family? My parents, grandparents, siblings, pets, and now at 22 even my love interest. People who I belong to. Where I can be myself...just myself, and not even grown up.
Thank you Dear God
I am glad you love me.